Family-a-Necessity!

I was born in the early 1960's to great parents -- joining my older brother Tim and sister Betsy, followed five years later by my younger brother Scott. Growing up in a small town in northern Indiana and not far from the southeast of the tip of Lake Michigan, we could have asked for better weather during the wintertime but we not only made the best of things; we totally and thoroughly enjoyed the weather! Whether it was riding snowmobiles, sliding down hills, skiing or ice fishing in hopes of catching the big one. For me, summertime was all about riding my bicycle at times to destinations unknown until I got there or other times, I would've been at my grandparents who lived on Hamilton Lake, in northeastern Indiana. Always wanting to wake up at the crack of dawn in hopes of catching a next huge largemouth bass that my grandparent's neighbor Winnie Davis always caught first or to jump in the boat to either row my arms weak or motoring every where, there was always something to do! If it were fishing, I'd e waiting for the next record size fish which never came but nonetheless, there was always something to do. In all, there was only one largemouth bass that ever took my bait in the way worth mentioning but it was well worth every mosquito bite, layer of skin that got sunburned off my back, necks, arms and legs only to get what bathed in what felt like gallon's of Calamine lotion! It was well worth it because nothing tastes as better than freshly cooked fish! When you're thirteen years old, something like that made you feel like it was the accomplishment of a lifetime and I ate up every moment of it. While I was growing up I never thought of paddling as a "good thing" but now when I reflect back at things, I feel very fortunate that I had parents who believed in paddling as it's too bad that parents no longer do! I realized that if I did something wrong but there was going to be a consequence, in fact the punishment was going to hurt my rear end much more just waiting for the paddle to make contact than when it hit my butt! When my parents would say, "This is going to hurt me a lot more than it's going to hurt you!!!" It's something I never believed was the truth but how wrong I was!

Looking back at some of the stupid-to-crazy stunts that I pulled; I would've definitely been labeled one "troubled child" if not a terrorist in the making by today's standards! Back in the 1970s they'd just say; "Kids will be kids!" and since I'll never confess to doing anything wrong, especially since I don't believe in self-incrimination but times were different and it's too bad that things have changed -- not for the better. Nonetheless, we did a lot of things that we shouldn't have but at that time, we were growing up and learning more about life than we have any idea could be learned. After all, isn't that what growing up is all about? Being that my parents are no longer around, I could go into the story but I'm sure that's not a good thing to do even 30+ years later! But I always had a way of pushing it to the limit and then some you could say. Looking back all these years; we didn't realize the weather was much better in the winter time. During the summer or whenever because it didn't matter to me, I'd be riding my bike from point A to point B without a care in my world other than seeing just how fast I could get there so long as there wasn't a dog hot out my trail, you'd see me out riding my 10 speed to destinations unknown! When I was about eleven I belonged to a bicycle club by the name of, "Three Oaks Spokes" out of Three Oaks Michigan where we go on rides/races ranging anywhere from 25-50-100 miles or over more throughout the Midwest. On any given day of the year, and I mean "any day of the year" as we had a Polar Bear Ride that was on New Year's Day. When it comes to New Years Day in Indiana, the weather can be anywhere from 45° to as low as well below -10° and I remember my friend Dan Whitten and me riding our bikes on that day, I don't think we went more than 10 miles before turning back. The temperatures were well below zero and the wind was well, it made for a wind-chill that would freeze any uncovered flesh frozen in no time. I was always the type of kid who would rather ride my bike 120 miles then run around the block. I suppose it was the fact that it felt easier on my hips, knees and legs along with just getting out and enjoying the day whether it was riding from Plymouth to my grandparents or where ever the front tire took me. Once when I rode to my grandparents (119 miles) I told my grandmother, "I feel good enough to turn around and go back�" but even though it was only a little after 12 noon, my grandmother was totally and completely against the idea and I'm sure I could've made it and got back to their home by 7 PM. Peddling far and peddling fast, that was always my favorite pastime rather than playing a videogame or sitting in front of the television like a vegetable! After all, the only video game available was Pong and that was it, my brother and I had mastered for the most part. I couldn't have asked for better parents even though they separated and divorced in the early 70s like so many others, life went on and we made the best of it. Though this happened, I feel this was especially tough on my younger brother and me even though we both made the best of things -- we moved south to Plymouth, meeting new friends and going to different schools. When you move away to a different town and become "the new kids in town" it's a very strange feeling unless you've been there--done that. We survived the ordeal and met more wonderful people than anyone can ever dream of�

After my motorcycle accident in 1985, I wish there were a way that I could've made it up to my parents, family members and friends for putting them through the near-death experience I had. It's not that I intended to be in an accident, I feel it was much harder on everyone else than what it was myself and that's something that I have a hard time dealing with. For me to come out of it yet be able to look back at things with a sense of humor rather than trying dwelling on the fact I can't walk, care for myself and many other things that people take for granted. I feel was unfair of me to put them through everything that went on after my accident, if I had to do over again (like I had a choice) I wish that I could've made everything right with them, not inflicting all the pain that they went through watching the escape death by nothing more than many prayers answered. From the doctors telling them to pretty much "Prepare for a funeral..." when things were looking pretty grim, to the doctors telling my parents "He'll never get off the ventilator..." I look at it from a standpoint that "I proved that doctors wrong!"

BUT what I put my parents, family and friends through is something I can't even begin to comprehend but only imagine that I put them through a living hell that they never deserved. Granted it was an accident but it seemed so unfair for me to put them through all that I have over the years. The type of feeling I get when thinking just what it must have been through is well, overwhelming and it's a feeling that I allow to really eat on my stomach at times...even to this day. It's very hard to apologize to them now that they're gone, I don't think my mother could hear me as I apologized to her the last day she was alive but I did my best though she was asleep. I just hope she realized that my accident was just that and it didn't bother me whether it was days ago or the fact it's been over twenty-five years ago. I've come a long ways in the past twenty-five years and how much my life changed, it all changed in a very positive way. She was by far, the best mother anyone could ever ask for. She was there through thick and thin, when things were grim to times of pride; I don't feel they's any better person in this worls -- than my mother!